Monologue : The Friend Zone

THE. FRIEND. ZONE. 

Also known to be almost every guy's nightmare. However, debatable because girls can get into the zone too. 

It's almost inevitable to come across the whole friend zone thing, especially on the internet, especially like websites like 9Gag. Not just the internet though, but also on TV and so forth. People also talk about it. And recently, it is as if this term has evolved into a "thing" and a label to certain friendships/relationships.

So what is the "friend zone"?

According to Wikipedia, this is the definition of the term :

In popular culture, the "friend zone" refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not (ouch). It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

This was how the term was born ;

This is a scene from the series, Friends.

It does suck to be on the receiving end of this particular predicament (Ross). To me, friend-zoning a person means that person could and will only just be a friend to me, and not more, as of this moment. Also, the situation whereby you just love and care for the person so much, but is not attracted to him or her, that's just my opinion. 

Oh yeah! Another thought comes to mind.

If someone refers or introduces you to someone new as a "friend", does that mean you're friendzoned?

Situation A

Girl : Hi! This is my friend, Guy!

Guy : (Am I being friendzoned here?)

or

Situation B

Guy : Hey, is that dude your boyfriend or something?

Girl : OH NO!! *Laughs* Are you kidding? We are just friends.

There's no denying the fact that I have been in the situation before. Obviously, as Girl. 

However, I think it just comes down to whether the guy stands a chance with the girl or not. Or whether the girl totally puts him in the "no-option" box or considers him a dating option. 

What about if you just love spending time with a person? 

You start out as friends and get all the close. See him or her everyday, then slowly get attached. But then, you are not sure if you're actually attracted to the person, but the person means the world to you as of that period of time or even longer or forever. 

Then what if you realize that just maybe, Mr.Right was right under your nose all the time, disguised as a best friend and  all it took was just some time to reach that epiphany? 

Sounds like a chick flick to me. Or maybe I just think too much. But it also goes to explain how best friends end up marrying each other. The dude has obviously successfully stepped out of the friend zone.

Will you ever come out of that zone?

There's even advice on wikiHow to escape the friend zone! Personally, there are some people whom I'm better off being friends with, than something more. At the same time, I have friends who I would consider dating, perhaps? Highly subjective. Haha

Okay, so here's an incident I experienced on a random weekend night when I was out in town with D at a bar.

Me & D : *watching people dance*

Random girl to Me : Hey, is that your partner?

Me : Nope, why?

Girl : Is he gay?

Me : (Just cos he's not my partner doesn't mean he's gay!!!) Nope

Girl : Is he bi?

Me : *looks in disbelief* NO!

D : *Totally oblivious to the situation because the music was loud*

Girl : Well, are YOU gay or bi?

Me : What? NO!

Girl : OHHHHH. Well this is a gay/lesbian bar! *smiling*

Me & D : o_____o

Okay, super embarrassing moment for the two blur Asians in town on a Saturday night in Wellington. Haha! We had quite a laugh nonetheless. This story is totally unrelated to the friend zone, but just for laughs.

Going back to the subject....

What are your thoughts about the friend zone? 

or being "friend-zoned"? 

Why are we so bothered by it?

Is it really that big a deal?

Ps. I have been told that guys are bad at communicating and send signals to the girl they like, and if she is not getting your signals, just TELL HER, for heaven's sake!!

They say men are not mind readers, well, women aren't too!

xxx

Ashley Mah

Monologue : First things first

I've never been this exhausted since the Malaysian Latin Dance Championships 2012. I've just finished rushing my paperwork and applications for my tertiary studies in New Zealand, next month. 

In the process, I got a little too stressed out and had passed out from gastric pains yesterday night during a Chinese New Year dinner with the MHB bloggers at The Royal Flush (look out for my post on that event!). Thanks to those who asked how I am and who helped take care of me that night! 

Having sealed envelopes and finalizing things, I can now sleep peacefully at night.

I had gone to Wisma Putra early this morning to get my Letter of Good Conduct done. Also been asked several times if the person in my passport picture was me. Are you kidding me? I'm not sure if I am me? -_____-  Moving on, I'm glad I got it all done in an hour or less.

 Everyday is a countdown now. My dear friends have been trying to get as much of my time as possible, to hang out and spend the day with me before I leave for NZ. It's less than a month! I'm trying to spend as much time as possible, with the person who will miss me (and me, her) the most... my baby sister. Things are gonna pass so quickly and before I know it, I'm already strutting  around in my new windbreaker and ugg boots in Wellington!

How could this not look like me! Tsk. Maybe it's the bangs..

 
Anyway, Kelly Siew and Frank had treated me to a birthday lunch last Sunday at Sid's Pub at TTDI. I had to say, best pub grub I've had yet! Did you know, that Sid's was awarded Time out KL Best Pub Grub 2012?

I had always been curious about the food at Sid's as I don't usually have my meals at pubs or bars. So, I've been asking Kelly alot about it. Good thing she and Frank were there with me, and Kim too. We knew we were in good hands!

You'd probably go into a food coma, as Frank says, after our string of large orders. Haha!

Blue Cheese Mushrooms, RM16.
Mushroom served in cream and blue cheese. Good for sharing!

Pork Burger, RM26, with egg and cheese.
The patty for this one was pretty good and the cheese was just yummers! If you're a small eater like me, just one burger like this would be enough to last me from morning right up till dinner!
  

Cod & chips, RM32.
This one was a winner! All of us loved the cod. The texture was just right, and it was served with peas on the side. I usually hate peas.. but these peas were darn good. Also, we changed the chips to mashed potatoes.

Sunday Roast, RM36, which includes soup.

We had chosen lamb, but there's an option for beef as well. The portion is HUGE. Good thing there were a few of us to finish it up. In my opinion, the meat was a little bit on the tough side. However, the marination was superb and the smell of lamb wasn't overpowering (not like the Morrocan lamb meatballs I had at Plan B).

Edible veges! I love them, very Ashley-friendly. Heheh

A picture of half-eaten Peas & Ham Soup. Again, hate peas. But peas at Sid's are pretty awesome! First time having pea soup.

Really enjoyed my meal at Sid's. For me, I found it rather cosy on a late Sunday afternoon to have super late lunch, like we did, and drinks. I'd definitely come here again, to try more of their stuff on the menu. I heard it gets really happening on weekend nights!

Sid's Pub TAMAN TUN DR ISMAIL
34 Lorong Rahim Kajai 14,
TTDI, Kuala Lumpur 60000.
Tel: +603-7727 7437

xxx 

Ashley Mah

Monologue : Oh the embarrassment!

It was a loooong weekend indeed. 

After the Halloween party by Carlsberg and Jagermeister, my weekend was far from over! 

The weekend goes into a 180 degree change and before I knew it, it was a Sunday afternoon, and I was in my long red gown, performing classical music at my violin recital at my music school in Puchong.

Firstly, all the clubbing music I've been listening to the past two days just flew out of the window when I was up onstage in front of parents, and other students. It was just me, Bach, Stravinsky and Schumann.

It was the most horrible recital in the entire universe.

Embarrassing especially! Not only did my playing sounded rather awful, which I think it always is.. My dress made me feel so uncomfortable that day, no idea why.

 And almost tripped over my long skirt a few times that day. Not gonna lie, but there were a few mistakes here and there. Think my teacher would have gone berserk if it weren't for her cool composure.

My problems don't stop there. There was a bug that decided to be IN the building, fly around, and landed on my HEAD. Had to tell myself not to freak out while trying to concentrate. Obviously I was distracted and when there was a longer rest in a particular bar, I smoothed my hair in the hopes of having the bug to get the hell away from my head. 

Good news : no more bug. 

Bad news : distracted and got lost in the passage for 0.2 seconds.

Oh the embarrassment! All the mistakes I don't usually make from hours of practice manifested during the recital! I felt so horrible. It was godawful. Oh yeah. The entire thing was recorded on camera!

 Had ran out of the studio right after bowing and gracefully getting down from the stage, into my car, and sped home. *shakes head*

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At least now I know how to handle such distraction during a recital or my exam itself, that's the only positive way I can look at it. Plus, I guess what I learnt from this incident was that anything crazy could happen - even during a classical performance. Hence, I should be more prepared next time!

 Same red gown worn at my cousin's wedding dinner earlier this year..

Ps. still don't know how on earth a flying bug could get into the studio.. which was upstairs, of a shop lot. Stupid bug. Pfft.

xxx

 Ashley Mah

Girl Talk & Monologue : PMS!

I'm gonna rant about PMS..The thing which might explain why your girlfriend turns into a demon one particular time of the month when "Aunt Flow" comes to visit. 

Well, at least this coming from my own experience especially the past week that has just been downright crappy for me.

I felt demotivated and uninspired to do anything. Not even salsa music could make me want to dance, nor practicing my violin would do me any good. I just basically felt like shit. To make matters worse, I had been involved in a car accident exactly a week ago, when my friends and I planned to go out for dinner and unfortunately some moron hit us from the back.

Results of that unfortunate incident was a horrible whiplash effect that I suffered the next two days despite having violin class the next day. My neck ached like never before, the muscles in the front might've been badly affected after speaking to my chiropractor today, who seemed quite disturbed after I told him about the accident and how my neck and back was affected.

My mood seemed to have gone downhill as well. I was reluctant to do anything, even stayed home on a Friday night!! It got so bad that whenever my mom drove and she jams the brakes, it would jolt my neck and I would feel almost like I was being electrocuted. I had to plead her to NOT do that as I was already in tears and holding my neck with my hand. Thank goodness for the invention of Icing therapy and Yoko Yoko. 

Back to PMS, Premenstrual syndrome is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle. (Of course you knew that.. right?) 

Which probably explains why I was feeling so shitty, partially. Not only me but most of girls having PMS. You DO not wanna step on any girl's tail when they're PMS-ing.

Stupidest question a guy can ask a chick who's PMS-ing,

 "What's wrong with you? Do you have PMS??"

... Yeah. You totally asked for it.

Some girls cry alot during PMS, some get angry or irritable, cranky, moodswings, the works. Even worse, it comes with bloatedness too, which makes us unable to put on our tight dresses and makes us feel most unattractive and most uncomfortable. Oh yeah, did I also mention cravings that would make you hate yourself later?

I know the feeling well. I had to admit I had gone quite overboard with my PMS and behaved like such a bitch. My ex would know how mean I behaved, giving "silent treatments" when I didn't get what I wanted or get sulky and even burst into tears... especially when I'm hungry and having cramps. After eating, I usually feel better and could even manage a smirk.

 Haha. I'd say there's no reason to act like a total bitch when you're PMS-ing... it's all about self control. Although I was feeling so crappy, there was the occasional snapping, which I end up apologizing for. But, I learnt that girls should know how to control themselves when PMS-ing, although it is hard. I've heard a story of a girl slapping her boyfriend for not getting her hot water. That's a bit over the top, right?

Talking about self control, I think the ultimate self control when having PMS before our cycles is food cravings. It is insane. I had the worst cravings for chapfan (mixed rice) for about a week last month!! I tried to avoid having it and subbing chapfan for other healthier and less 'sinful' stuff, only to know that it made my cravings worse. After finally having chapfan with a gym buddy of mine, almost like magic, the cravings stopped. Boy was I thankful they stopped because I was starting to scare myself. Lol!

Hence, PMS = Self Control Period before bleeding like a massacre and comes the cramps that make me wanna shoot myself or just lie like a corpse in bed.

Well, there's a happy ending to it all. After the PMS period is over, it does come to realization on why I felt so horrible and crappy the past week, etc. And eventually, the emotions are balanced again and thus, the universe goes back to normal. Think of it as having a tornado in the girl universe. 

Things guys should not do when a girl is on her period : 

1. Keep her waiting, especially when she's hungry.

2. Make period/PMS jokes. 

3. Argue (When a girl is on her period, your argument is invalid)

4. Say the "F" word. No girl wants to be called FAT, especially during when she's having PMS. (Other variations of the word include chubby, bloated, etc.)

5. Be an inconsiderate idiot.

So guys, the trick is to be patient here.. Even better, be her punching bag for the time being. Your kindness will be appreciated and repaid. Heh.

In other news, I have performed with my band Audio Impulse at Mandolin Cafe at Plaza Glomac Kelana Jaya last Sunday. More performances and parties to come!

Stay tuned, dolls.

xxx

Ashley Mah

My crazy two weeks : Week Two

Yep, you can guess what the second week was like.

More performing! :D my silent violin is definitely getting lots of attention these few weeks.

So I performed for the Beerlympics 3.0 Oktoberfest at Ecoba Restaurant & Bar together with DJ NYL and DJ High Tech.

As you can tell, this was the poster and my pic is on top, second from the right next to the Djs.. and the little bull. Hehe

I had played a whole set of House music with the Djs and I enjoyed myself as I got to immerse myself in a whole different genre and style than I usually go for, when performing.

 Usually I would play my own repertoires, but that night, it was all about being creative and setting the mood, like how House music is supposed to be.

DJ NYL and DJ High Tech who did a fabulous job behind the decks and were really fun to work with. :)

All music aside, there were other entertainment as well. Just like this mechanical bull, which is the first I've actually seen in front of me. I so wanted to ride on it! But had no time, cos I had to perform.

Oh well. I always imagined how one can be glamorous and riding the mechanical bull like Cameron Diaz did in Charlie's Angels : Full Throttle.

I guess it is not impossible... well.. until I saw this one guy who was being flung around like a rag doll. Heh. He looked like he had fun though.

There was like a mini bazaar going on as well. All the random indie-ish stuff were on sale. Meme t-shirts, hippie accessories, phone covers, hand-me-down dresses, pre-loved stuff, etc.

 I was so drawn to the accessories.. especially cos they looked like rainbows! Zomg, all the color. 

It was a no brainer that I made an impulsive purchase on one of those colourful beaded bracelets.. the one i was trying on in the picture. Till today, I'm happily wearing it! 

Especially when I'm wearing black or white almost all the time. <3

What did I tell you about random? They had Henna tattoos there too. Pretty cool, but I had not enough time for Henna. :(

And my Saturday night was a wrap after the set was over. Surprisingly bumped into some dance kaki's who were there to drink too. Pleasant surprise. :)

Hon Kitt, who came to support me and Nick who took all the pics of me. So blessed to have supportive friends like them. 

On a vain note, I was quite pleased with my makeup that night, although I ditched the smokey eyes for another day. I went for blue hues and a strong eyeliner instead. I love it! And it is photo friendly!

Shall do it again!

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Backtrack to the same Saturday afternoon. I had gone for a lifts and tricks workshop at SalsaJay with some friends. Definitely learnt some new cool and doable stuff there. 

Best part : no accidents as all the stunts were taught with the correct techniques. Phewwie.

Dancers doing some stretching and warming up before the workshop.

We learnt this stunt called the Shoulder Bird. Which was surprisingly easy. I went to a stunts workshop before, and there was a varation of this stunt that was taught, but it was almost impossible to achieve it! I was quite pleased when I was able to execute it this round. 

With the right technique, I used even lesser effort to "fly without wings"!  Feels awesome to be on top the guy's shoulder, balancing using the core muscles. Goal achieved! :D

All of us who attended the workshop. I was thrilled to see Ben & Kat there was well!

After the workshop, it was showtime at Ecoba.

That pretty much summed up my weekend, Saturday being the highlight of it all, besides all the mad planning, practice and rehearsals.

A mad Saturday indeed but well spent!

xxx 

Ashley Mah

My crazy two weeks : Week One

It's been the craziest two weeks ever.. and I loved it!
It all started on Thursday when I performed for the Hitachi eBworx Launch Luncheon at Hilton Hotel, KL Sentral.

Since it was a luncheon, I was there at the venue by 930 am for soundcheck and the works.
Feels a bit lulu to be all dressed up and full hair & makeup at such an ungodly hour. I admit, I was pretty sleepy and tired but meh, the vainpot in me was wide awake and enjoying the attention she got.

 Me & my babe Choulyin. And she was in charge of me! Her company is behind the entire event and she got me to perform for the event! :)

The venue of the luncheon was so grandly decorated. *jelly*
I love the centerpiece of the tables! It's somewhat simple, but leaves such an impact. Genius, indeed.
I'm glad the performance went quite well as I got to walk around while playing. The event was a success too.

Moving on...
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DAY TWO :  Daniel and I had a salsa performance at Taylors Lakeside campus for the Expressions event. Charms was our personal coach, grilling our asses every night at the studio for practice until 1am from Monday right up till the day of performance itself!

Thinking it was just a performance, and not a competition like the Malaysian Latin Dance Championships, I thought it miiiiight be a lil less hectic.

Man I was wrong. 

Sure, the practices are definitely more productive thanks to Charms but the stress level was still as high, if not, worse! Nonetheless, we managed to make it and put on an awesome performance. Daniel and I enjoyed the spotlight as we gave our best on the stage.

Daniel, myself, Kat and Ben! Kat and Ben put on an awesome performance as well, and Kat's costume was just stunning. 

I decided to go black this time because I wanted another costume. So.. I DIY-ed this one again. It was so super rewarding seeing the shine of my pretty crystals on the dress especially when the lights hit. I got bought 1440 pieces of white crystals and stuck all of them, one by one on the costume! Yeah at one point, I had a headache.

My instagram of the finishing product the night before the performance. 

Whee ~

Shaun, one of my friends who came to show some love and support. :)

World's best coach/ass-kicker! Charms. <3

Kim, who wore heels and was towering over her older sis. -_-

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Okay, next. Friday was the salsa performance night.
 Saturday night was The Gig at Paradox Cafe, Bandar Utama!

Not a dancer that night but a violinist. Hehe.
Paradox Cafe was a little hard to find, I admit, but it's a cozy little place with quite good food.

Melvin Chan & I

Man of the hour, Darren Teh from An Honest Mistake

An Honest Mistake's Leonard Chua

Dustyhawk and I

Alloysious the beatboxer and myself.

 That night was pretty damn awesome. Not only did I make a new friend, I also got a new performance partner! The feeling is cannot be explained! We were introduced by my uncle, who is also a performer, after 30 mins of chatting, we started to try to jam together. We clicked so well, and before we knew it, we were impromptu-ing onstage after my set. Hip hop violin with the beatboxer. I definitely felt a rush of excitement! Plus.. we are working together at the moment for more performances to come. :)

There were a string of accoustic performances that night, including Juliets of Eden. Some of them were pretty good and I enjoyed the night making new friends. It was one of those laid-back nights with good music.. the only heart attack I had was having to go to Paradox Cafe after getting confused with the actual venue and leaving the GPS in my mom's car. Thank goodness Dustyhawk came to the rescue and took me there. Phew.

That makes one of the two crazy weeks I had. I even had a mini breakdown at the gym on Friday from all the pressure. But hey, I got out of it just fine. All I had to do was keep calm and look pretty, I guess...(vain,much?)

xxx 

Ashley Mah