Monologue : The Friend Zone


Also known to be almost every guy's nightmare. However, debatable because girls can get into the zone too. 

It's almost inevitable to come across the whole friend zone thing, especially on the internet, especially like websites like 9Gag. Not just the internet though, but also on TV and so forth. People also talk about it. And recently, it is as if this term has evolved into a "thing" and a label to certain friendships/relationships.

So what is the "friend zone"?

According to Wikipedia, this is the definition of the term :

In popular culture, the "friend zone" refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not (ouch). It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

This was how the term was born ;

This is a scene from the series, Friends.

It does suck to be on the receiving end of this particular predicament (Ross). To me, friend-zoning a person means that person could and will only just be a friend to me, and not more, as of this moment. Also, the situation whereby you just love and care for the person so much, but is not attracted to him or her, that's just my opinion. 

Oh yeah! Another thought comes to mind.
If someone refers or introduces you to someone new as a "friend", does that mean you're friendzoned?

Situation A
Girl : Hi! This is my friend, Guy!
Guy : (Am I being friendzoned here?)


Situation B
Guy : Hey, is that dude your boyfriend or something?
Girl : OH NO!! *Laughs* Are you kidding? We are just friends.

There's no denying the fact that I have been in the situation before. Obviously, as Girl. 
However, I think it just comes down to whether the guy stands a chance with the girl or not. Or whether the girl totally puts him in the "no-option" box or considers him a dating option. 

What about if you just love spending time with a person? 
You start out as friends and get all the close. See him or her everyday, then slowly get attached. But then, you are not sure if you're actually attracted to the person, but the person means the world to you as of that period of time or even longer or forever. 
Then what if you realize that just maybe, Mr.Right was right under your nose all the time, disguised as a best friend and  all it took was just some time to reach that epiphany? 

Sounds like a chick flick to me. Or maybe I just think too much. But it also goes to explain how best friends end up marrying each other. The dude has obviously successfully stepped out of the friend zone.

Will you ever come out of that zone?

There's even advice on wikiHow to escape the friend zone! Personally, there are some people whom I'm better off being friends with, than something more. At the same time, I have friends who I would consider dating, perhaps? Highly subjective. Haha

Okay, so here's an incident I experienced on a random weekend night when I was out in town with D at a bar.

Me & D : *watching people dance*
Random girl to Me : Hey, is that your partner?
Me : Nope, why?
Girl : Is he gay?
Me : (Just cos he's not my partner doesn't mean he's gay!!!) Nope
Girl : Is he bi?
Me : *looks in disbelief* NO!
D : *Totally oblivious to the situation because the music was loud*
Girl : Well, are YOU gay or bi?
Me : What? NO!
Girl : OHHHHH. Well this is a gay/lesbian bar! *smiling*

Me & D : o_____o

Okay, super embarrassing moment for the two blur Asians in town on a Saturday night in Wellington. Haha! We had quite a laugh nonetheless. This story is totally unrelated to the friend zone, but just for laughs.

Going back to the subject....
What are your thoughts about the friend zone? 
or being "friend-zoned"? 
Why are we so bothered by it?
Is it really that big a deal?

Ps. I have been told that guys are bad at communicating and send signals to the girl they like, and if she is not getting your signals, just TELL HER, for heaven's sake!!

They say men are not mind readers, well, women aren't too!

Ashley Mah

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